I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
