Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
