It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
