Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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