He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
