her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
