have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize