this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Redeem this text for a blowjob
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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