We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
