Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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