you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize