New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
