I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do vagina's smell?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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