when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
