And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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