i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
