I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
