when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
