I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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