i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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