So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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