I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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