the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I believe in your delicious
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
