You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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