Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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