Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize