He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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