??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize