Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
