apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
