He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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