In the future we'll all be gay
her vagine was all disorganized.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
