Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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