I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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