Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My vagina is officially offended.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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