My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize