Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
