i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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