If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
