i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
