Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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