so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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