I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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