college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
