is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
