well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize