I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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