she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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