So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
