You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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