My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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