everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
