somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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