We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
