Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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