I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize