So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
