First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
