My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
