Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
