Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
