Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
