Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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