And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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