She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she looked like the before picture.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
