I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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