I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
